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Improving Self-Confidence

To have self-confidence is to feel capable, sure of your abilities. Lack of confidence is fear that you lack the ability to do something.

How do you rate your level of confidence?

In my personal experience and from observing my clients in life coaching, the best way to build self-confidence and overcome fear is to begin by doing something you feel capable of doing. Someone once said “when in doubt, just take the next small step.” Once you have accomplished it, it will give you a boost in your confidence to try a more challenging task.

The problem arises when you set your ultimate goal and try to achieve it in one week. This will overwhelm you and create enormous amounts of doubt. This is a sure way to undermine your self-confidence. Begin with a small task that when completed will propel you the the next level of achieving your ultimate goal. Recognize your limitations and be patient. Each step builds greater self-confidence.

I recall when I realized I needed to divorce my husband, finances were the biggest obstacle. I had no profession, no education but I needed a way out. My child was only 8 months old. Desperate for a change, I decided to start a small daycare at home. I took in two children along with my daughter and made enough money to start a savings. I progressed slowly attempting more complex tasks and eventually developed my confidence to the point of entering into the field of molecular biology. You have to start at your level of functionality, be patient, and build it! Success is a journey!

As you go along your journey avoid comparing your accomplishments with that of others. Stick to what you are doing and realize that each person is at a different level of their journey or operates at a different level of functionality.
As a life coach I encourage you to focus on your strengths and develop your weaknesses by learning more, taking a class, or a self-development course. Get on the internet, do the research, learn everything there is to know about your subject matter. This gives even more confidence to attempt the big tasks.
Surround yourself by people who can encourage and support your efforts in building your self-confidence. Avoid critical people who are jealous, sarcastic, negative and who undermine your efforts. These people inject poisons into you psyche and subconsciously sabotage you. You can sense the people who are supportive of you.
Remember no one else can do it for you. You have to be willing to take a risk. Take the chance and get out of that comfort zone that keeps you paralyzed. You will feel more comfortable taking that chance if you select the right task for you to undertake. This is the only way to see what you are capable of and learn to improve your self-confidence.

Do the best you can but remember you will make mistakes. When building self-confidence you cannot be afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes are only human. This how how we learn. Grasp at every chance to learn and keep trying. NEVER GIVE UP!

Believe that you can achieve your goals. Believe that if you begin with the small tasks and conquer them, you will develop the self-confidence to tackle the big stuff. Repeat to yourself on a daily basis "I can do it."

How badly do you want to build your emotional intelligence? It means building your level of self-confidence. Set your goals, do the research, and BEGIN!

As a life coach I encourage you to:

I. Smile

Stand in front of the mirror and practice your smile because you will be using it every day. This in no way makes your narcissistic. Look at how better your appearance is when you smile. If you feel self-conscious about your smile due to your teeth, make an appointment with your dentist. Smiling automatically puts you in a positive frame of mind. It's a sure indication of how confident and happy someone is.

Every opportunity you get to walk by a mirror, smile and feel the psychological and physiological effects on you. You will feel a change in your attitude and it brings more positive experiences to your life. I know, sometimes we forget, but just keep working at it. Observe the reactions of others when you smile at them. Some will smile back while other will give you a strange look. Help someone to smile by smiling at them.

As you smile, the internal begins to smile too. It becomes a habit and it enhances your level of confidence. Be known as someone with a chronic smile. It’s a great thing to be known for!

II. Practice good Posture

A slouch is a great indicator of someone with little self-confidence. Unless you have an ailment, you should learn to walk upright again. Begin by looking in the mirror at your profile. Notice your slouch and learn to stand upright, with abs in, chest up, and shoulders relaxed. Think about someone you see walking into a room with great posture. Now think of another person walking in the room with a slouch. What are your impressions? Which person exudes more confidence? Walking tall always gets you noticed! It gives you a taller, slimmer appearance, and it speaks volumes about your self-confidence.

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